Coaching Feedback

Marty’s Note: This article by SVPG Partner Martina Lauchengco discusses a technique for helping with what is arguably the single most critical skill for a manager or a coach working to develop her people.  You can also hear Martina elaborate on this technique and coaching feedback in general in the latest Product Therapy podcast with Christian Idiodi.

This feedback model changed my life.

I’m a huge fan of “radical candor,” but it can be abused to just “swoop and poop” with one-way feedback that can leave people feeling bad.

I can genuinely say this model for constructive feedback was life-changing. It reduces the risk of demotivating people by ensuring each party has a chance to share their perspective. The person providing the feedback is asked to listen and engage with curiosity, not just share “constructive criticism” with observed actions and impact.

My “simple” version

Despite having a good acronym, I couldn’t remember all the steps when I was actually in feedback situations. So the “Keep It Simple” version that stayed in my head was:

1. Lead with your intent. “I’m sharing this feedback because I believe in your potential as a leader, and I want to help you work on what might be in the way.”
2. Share the specifics of what you observed. “In last week’s meeting, you said there was an issue getting the presentation done on time for sales. But you didn’t say the timeframe in which they should now expect it. I could sense the sales team’s frustration, and it didn’t make clear you were doing all you could to get things back on track.”
3. Ask for their experience of the situation. This is the important part. Engage with curiosity and listen to what’s said but also what it infers. It’s how to build shared understanding and points to where assumptions are getting in the way. Person receiving feedback: “I assumed by saying things had slipped that people would know I was doing all I could to get things back on track. I have to say it’s hard to hear that people wouldn’t just assume I was doing everything I could. I work really hard for the team.”
4. Finish with a coaching conversation. You now have each sides’ perspective so you know what needs to be coached. In this particular situation, you can coach what proactive management of a situation looks like to most as well as address something that was presumed but not said that clearly hurt someone’s feelings. This person is equating hard work with getting the job done. And making the feedback about their effort overall and not the situation at hand. These are important things to address during the coaching part of the feedback. People aren’t left wondering what is thought of them or what the actual situation at hand is.

This two-way model helped me give more constructive feedback in ways people are better able to hear, even when the feedback was hard. What really made the difference was both sides feeling heard. Everyone has their version of what happens, and it’s important to acknowledge someone else’s experience, even if your interpretation of the implications is different.

The model specifics

This model came from an exceptional one developed by Rebecca Zucker and her team at Next Step Partners. Here are the SHARED™ Model details:

S = SHARE your intent (start with a positive intention)

H = Provide context on when/where it HAPPENED (share specific feedback)

A = Describe observed ACTIONS

R = Share RESULTS or impact

E = Engage with curiosity and listen (coaching conversation begins)

D = Discuss next steps

An example of each step in the SHARED context

S = SHARE your intent (start with a positive intention)

“I know you’ve been under a lot of stress lately and are putting in a lot of work to get this deal across the finish line.”

H = Provide context on when/where it HAPPENED (share specific feedback)

“In the exec team meeting this morning…”

A = Describe observed ACTIONS

“I noticed you were a bit curt when Sam raised a concern about the deal’s impact on back-end operations, and you cut him off.”

R = Share RESULTS or impact

“It minimized his concerns and shut him down in the meeting, and we didn’t get to hear the full extent of his concerns.”

E = Engage with curiosity and listen (coaching conversation begins)

“What’s your take on what happened?”

D = Discuss next steps

“I know that you don’t want anything to slow this deal down. But if we don’t fully hear out others’ concerns, we may miss a critical issue that will have bigger consequences down the road. In the future, please hear everyone out, so we can make sure we address any concerns and pre-empt any problems, as well as make everyone feel heard.”

Pay it forward

I first learned this model when we’d done 360’s for our portfolio CEOs as part of my work at Costanoa Ventures. We realized there was a lot of feedback that needed to happen between the CEOs and their executive teams, and the CEOs didn’t feel equipped to have more challenging management conversations. The solution wasn’t to just share the 360 feedback in written form; it was to help CEOs learn how to give better feedback in 1:1s. It made a big difference.

We all know people and being able to get the best from everyone on a team is the secret to organizational success. I hope you’re able to use better feedback to help get you and your team there.